Afraid of Sloths

My name is Brown, and I’m afraid of sloths.

Apparently, I’m not the only one. Now specifically, I’m only afraid of the Brown-throated three-toed variety, what with their creepy eyes and evil grinning faces and giant claws that would eviscerate you before you can say: “But they’re supposed to be herbivores!” Sure, they act like slow-moving docile creatures, but you can tell they’re just waiting to make their move.

So last week, you could imagine my terror, when I visited Something Awful and checked out their recent Photoshop Phriday topic of Monsters Attack! and saw this:

If anyone needs me, I’ll be hiding under my desk in a fetal position, shivering with fright.