I suppose most casual blog posts are getting boiled down into 160-character blurbs and pushed out instantly via Twitter and Facebook these days. Do people even use their blogs anymore?

Nope. Turns out I still hate them.

Being the analytical type that I am, I gave it a bit of thought. I know I enjoy the strategy of it, especially considering how much I enjoy playing D&D. I know that it’s not the game in particular, as I can appreciate the balance and the amount of design that went into StarCraft. The game makes sense to me, it’s not a lack of understanding what I need to do or why I lose.

But in thinking about all of this, I realized that there’s a common thread among the genres of games that I usually despise, and it all comes down to one thing, now immortalized as my First Law of Gaming:

Brown’s 1st Law of Gaming:
The amount of time invested in a game is directly proportional to how pissed off I am when I lose.

What it all boils down to is that I essentially hate games where my time can be completely wasted by a defeat. In most of the games I enjoy, say RPGs or Action/Adventure games, the player’s advancement is broken down into small chunks; stages or levels in the case of Action games, or character advancement with Experience Points in the case of RPGs. If the player “dies” — the amount of time lost is only what you put in since the last save point, usually 10-15 minutes at the most.

Take Super Mario Bros., for example. Let’s say it takes 20 minutes to get to Level 8-4, Bowser’s Castle. If I get to the end of the level and die while battling with Bowser, what happens? I start level 8-4 over again, and have lost, what, maybe 5-10 minutes tops? No big deal, I just go through the level again.

But, if I spend an hour playing a game of StarCraft, what happens? GAME OVER, MAN! That’s it. Defeat is absolute. All of the time I spent collecting minerals, vespine gas, building units, researching upgrades, amassing an army, exploring the map… wasted. All of that time spent advancing now means nothing. I can’t start over again from a point 45 minutes into the battle.

The issue holds for most sports games, like Football, Baseball, and Hockey. Once I’ve lost a game, that 80-yard touchdown in the first quarter doesn’t matter much.

Basically, I’ve found that I hate having achievements invalidated, and I can’t stand the thought of having to go through another hour of hassle just to get back to where I was. In moments like that, I usually end up shutting the game off, and, more often than not, I usually won’t play it ever again.

So, in conclusion, what this all really means is that I’m a complete nerd and have way too much time to contemplate things like this.

The End of the World
In the mostly-Catholic belief, St. Peter sits at the Gates of Heaven and either allows you entrance into Paradise, or sends you on your way to the basement of the afterlife.

There could be a problem with this.

Let’s assume for a moment that the rate at which St. Peter can process the possible applicants is constant, and is in real time, not some outside-of-time-and-space process. He’s doing this right now with the same concept of time as you and I.

It’s known that the population of the world has increased since he’s taken over the job, and as such, the number of deaths worldwide has increased every year, obviously through no fault of his own.

Now if his rate of processing is constant, and the rate of “applicants” is ever-increasing, it stands to reason that there will come a time at which St. Peter will not be able to keep up with the increased workload.

And so, I put forth to you that at that moment, it will be the END OF THE WORLD!
::Dramatic Chord::

You can expect our book on the topic sometime next year.
Please contact our agent for booking personal appearances and television interviews.

Ice Cream in Heaven
Now let’s say I go to Heaven.
(If anyone’s got Internet access up there, hook a brother up and put in a good word, will you?)

So I’m strolling down a street paved with gold on a beautiful day, and I see an Angel pushing an Ice Cream Cart, like the guys on the beach. What flavors will he/she have?

Will they have every flavor in a magical bag of holding?
Or will there just be one flavor that will be equally delicious to all of the inhabitants of Heaven?

I can’t imagine they will have every flavor, as there are certainly flavors of ice cream that I don’t like; however those flavors that I don’t like may be someone else’s favorite, so how does that work? If my buddy’s favorite flavor happens to be Brussel Sprout Ripple, and I were to try some of it, what would it taste like if I know I hate brussel sprouts?!